Couples and Marriage Counseling in Roanoke, VA and Online
Right now, things might seem hopeless for your relationship.
You might be having the same arguments over and over, growing emotionally distant, and struggling to make time for each other because one (or both) of you always seems to be working.
The days when you found each other’s quirks adorable (rather than downright annoying) seem to be a distant memory—and now you’re wondering if your differences are even compatible at all.
I get it!
Maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship can be complicated even at the best of times!
When the stress and complexity of work, health, kids, finances and other factors come into play, maintaining an intimate relationship can seem overwhelming. As a licensed psychologist, I fully appreciate how even “small” problems that “shouldn’t bother you so much” can make it hard to show up fully present and joyful in your relationship.
With both in-person and telehealth options, I offer a safe, accessible way for you and your partner to openly explore your differences, discuss hardships, celebrate wins, and understand each other.
Couples therapy promotes growth and connection within your relationship, making space for you to evolve together.
Every relationship requires effort in order for it to work. Going to couples counseling doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. And it doesn’t mean you “weren’t strong enough” to figure out your issues on your own. It means you’re willing to grow and learn—together—to try and improve your relationship.
Many couples come to therapy in significant emotional pain. You might be going through a particularly tough time right now, wondering if couples therapy or marriage counseling is right for you.
If you and your partner are struggling with…
Communication
- Having the same argument over and over
- Struggling to fight in healthy ways
- Avoiding each other and hot topics
Connection
- Feeling alone in the relationship
- Feeling unsure if you are right for each other
- Feeling like you are roommates rather than partners
- Infidelity/betrayal
Sexual Intimacy
- Differences in desire
- Losing interest
- Discomfort with body image, aging, or your body changing
Hot Topics
- Household chores and division of labor
- Family: children, parents, in-laws
- Work
- Money
New Relationships
- Letting go of old baggage
- Setting the stage for a strong relationship
- Exploring issues around commitment
Relationship Maintenance
- Intensive and deep focus on one topic
- 10 hours over several sessions in quick succession
- Contact me for additional information on structure and pricing
What is couples therapy like?
Whether you’re married or in a committed partnership, you are welcome here. Perhaps you’re seeking premarital counseling, or you’re seeking a relationship “tune up” before finding yourself in a crisis situation. Whatever your reasons, I would be glad to help you facilitate healthy discussions while holding space for your partnership’s unique experiences.
If you are in crisis, I won’t tell you if I think you should stay in the relationship or leave it. Only you and your partner can decide that. What I will do is hold space for you to address your concerns in a safe, non-judgmental space where I model healthy communication and attunement.
When it’s just the two of you at home, it’s easy to get stuck on the merry-go-round, going round and round in whatever pattern you’re used to—but not really getting anywhere. Think of couples therapy as getting off the merry-go-round. Rather than staying stuck in what you’ve been doing (which isn’t working,) we work together to unearth ways you can connect, heal, and grow. I help facilitate this healing by asking questions, observing and bringing attention to patterns (many of which may be unconscious) and offering suggestions for how to reach each other so you’re communicating with one another rather than at one another.
In session, we practice active and empathic listening, stating your needs, and being vulnerable with your partner (creating space for repair and emotional intimacy)
You can expect the chance to voice your concerns and also listen to your partner’s concerns. It’s not always comfortable to hear your partner’s criticisms or feelings, especially if you believe they are in the wrong. But part of couples therapy and/or marriage counseling is learning to hear your partner and—if you’re willing—to love them in the way they want to be loved, rather than in the way you think they should be loved.
Couples therapy and marriage counseling can help you and your partner:
- Navigate emotional distance or disconnection
- Address communication breakdowns and assert your needs in a healthy way
- Learn how to communicate more effectively so you don’t blow up, shut down, or avoid issues
- Develop (or redevelop) trust
- Address past and current hurt
- Become an active and empathetic listener
- Practice attunement (practice being seen and heard by each other)
- Increase emotional and physical intimacy
- Have open and honest discussions on difficult or emotional topics such as sex. finances, in-laws, parenting, work-life balance, etc.
- Raise substance abuse or addiction concerns
- Navigate conflict in a healthy, constructive way
- Address differences in values, life goals
Intimacy From the Inside Out
Using IFS Therapy to guide our couples work
I am a Certified Internal Family Systems therapist, and I use the IFS model, Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO) during our couples sessions.
As we go through life, we develop protective strategies to cope. In this process, we often lose sight of our core self. We may look to our partner to fix us before we’ve done that important work on ourselves (And our partners expect the same from us!). We may act in hurtful ways we don’t truly mean, and these actions often have their roots in our early experiences. Together, we apply this model to creatively reconcile your concerns and help your relationship move past them.
IFIO is largely about changing your conversations.
In couples therapy or marriage counseling, you will learn how to have conversations about what is and isn’t working in your relationship, acknowledge differences between you and your partner, and ultimately think about your relationship in a different way.
I offer a healing space for you to voice deep longings and fears. In our sessions, you can expect to be met with a calm, warm energy. I will remain neutral during our discussions, as my goal is not to take sides, but to guide you toward acknowledging and voicing your own needs, wants, and dreams to your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you do couples therapy if you’re not married?
Yes! I am happy to see couples who are married or unmarried. Whether you’ve been together 30 years or 3 months, you are welcome. No matter your relationship dynamics, you are warmly invited to join.
Does going to couples counseling mean we’re going to end up divorced?
No! Whether or not you stay together is up to you. Coming to couples counseling does not automatically mean your relationship is “doomed.” Far from it.
Is couples therapy covered by insurance?
I offer superbills for you to send to your insurance to request reimbursement.
Learn More By Contacting My Office Today
It takes great courage and heart to seek couples or marriage counseling! And I’m honored that you’re considering me as your facilitator and guide as you go through this journey.
Your relationship is distinct and unique, coming to therapy with a host of challenges in the present—along with the ones from your past.
I’m committed to delivering compassionate, evidence-based therapy to all my clients.
Your relationship to yourself and your partner will improve as we build a foundation of understanding, empathy, and care. These three facets stand as the core of any healthy relationship.
I offer telehealth couples therapy via PSYPACT, serving most states, and in-person appointments in Roanoke, VA.
Start your journey today. Call (540) 915-1508 or click here to set up a free 15-minute consultation.